Coming Out
by everfire
Summary: HXK songfic. They finally get together and encouter a problem due to Kurama's 'job'. No lemon. shonenai. Kisses are all that's planed. Rated T because of Kurama's 'job' and some serious violence.
1. Chapter 1

Prenote: just so you know I can now use spellcheck and this means all documents from now on should be better...and make more sense. Thank you to all of you who wrote reviews.

Authors note: Well this came out of nowhere. Some new stories will be added and soon because I've been writing a lot but I hate to type so please forgive me. I hope you like this. HXK from Hiei's POV...well I don't know it's hard to write from Hiei's POV. The next chapter will be from Kurama's POV and will be more understandable because Kurama understands the situation more.

_I'm coming out of my cage..._

Hiei looked up from what he was reading. Yusuke's stare penetrated his head.

"Yes?" Not really a question more of a demand.

"Are you gay?"

"Yes...and?"

"Really?" Yusuke sounded really surprised.

"What?"

"Well, when the girls told me I was shocked."

"So was I"

_...and I've been doing just fine..._

"What?"

"When the girls told me I was gay...I didn't know humans had a word for it...I mean isn't it natural...Why have a word like that?"

"Well...umm it's really not that common, really it's more common to be straight."

_...Gotta gotta be down..._

"Straight, huh?"

"What...do you know what that is?"

"Yes."

"Well?"

"What does it matter? What's the difference?"

_...Because I want it all..._

"So how'd you find out?"

"Find out what?"

"That you're gay."

"The girls told me I told you that."

"No, I mean how do you know you like guys."

"It happened."

"What? you just knew that's it?"

"I wasn't sure what I wanted."

"Then what."

"I learned."

_...It started out with a kiss..._

Flashback:

"Hiei?" Kurama spoke to the dark. I stood up and walked to him, he had called.

"Kurama." My voice is cold.

"Is there something you wanted?" I looked about his room, and then looked at him sprawled over his bed. His soft red hair laying in tendrils across his back. He had sat up a look of concern filling his features.

I walked toward him. He looked at me curiosity and dread replacing his initial worry. I leaned in and kissed him. His soft lips pushed back into mine gently.

_...How did it end up like this..._

He pulled me into him and I felt our bodies begin to mingle. His legs entangled with mine. He murmured into my lips. He seemed to relish my rough embrace. He pulled back and gazed at me, his eyes full of longing. I pulled him forward once again and he plunged his tongue down into my mouth.

_...It was only a kiss..._

Our gentle first kiss, repeated every time we met. This should be nothing.

_...It was only a kiss..._

I sit in a tree waiting for him to return from school. He has to go through this park. I look over the edge. He wasn't late. He was right on time, yes I could see him perfectly down from the trees. I could see him walking hand in hand with a girl I'd never seen before. She reached out and kissed him. He even looked sad as she left. That's what I saw. She could have been anybody and I didn't get mad. I didn't even tell him I saw. I just arrived at his house later so he could be close to me again.

_...now I'm falling asleep..._

His arms snaked around me. My eyes began to flit closed. I wanted to leave. He was so soft. I couldn't move away.

_...and she's calling a cab..._

I woke up alone.

_...and he's having a smoke..._

Some cigarettes lay on his bedside table. I lit one up in the dark letting the smoke drift dreamily out of my hands.

_...And she's taking a drag..._

Where he went I don't know but I can guess. He loved that girl. He had gone to her. I took a long drag, and watched the smoke curl.

"Yeah you wont guess, Kurama...I found out what I want."

_...Now their going to bed..._

Did he touch her like he does to me, love me the way he loves her? Do their hands entwine? Not that it matters.

_...and my stomach is sick..._

I should stop thinking about useless things.

..._And it's all in my head..._

He could be anywhere it's not like I take up all his time. However, I can still see him the way he was with me, only alone. without me. Anything but alone.

_...but she's touching his----chest..._

Does she do the things he does to me. How many has he loved before? Why won't he tell me? Not even about her? It's not like I would be upset.

_...Now he takes off her dress..._

How far does he go? I mean she's a girl so less than with me, right? I'm lower risk even if I could get pregnant it's not like I'd stay around. He's probably just dating her for reputation...Why so late at night then? Even after me? I mean I know he has stamina, but...

End Flashback

_...Now let me go..._

"Yeah Yusuke it just sort of hit me you know."

"Wow I thought you would say you fell in love or at least experimented. you know something more fun."

"No I just sort of knew."

_...And I just can't look, it's killing me..._

More flashback:

What really shocked me was when he told me he didn't love her. He said he didn't love anyone that way.

_...and taking control..._

Then I saw him with someone else, and it seemed like he was always with someone and he always left right after me. I'm never awake. I don't ever know what he looks like.

_...Jealousy..._

He became even more withdrawn. There isn't any hold I have on him. I get the feeling I'm just something extra in his day.

_...turning saints into the sea..._

He told me he has clients and I can't work him too hard. I asked him what he meant and he said that he had to think of his job. He sells himself. I'm freebie because we're friends. No one else knows.

_...Swimming through sick lullabies... _

He wont leave until he thinks I'm asleep but I can't fall asleep at all anymore.

_...choking on your alibis..._

He wont even touch me much anymore. He leaves and told me I should leave him alone for awhile work was becoming hard.

_...but it's just the price I pay..._

I stop going. He doesn't want me around. I'll keep his secret till I die. I go to the Makkai. No one would even care if I told them there. I belong here. Everyone knows who I am and to stay away.

_...Destiny is calling me..._

I will steal all those things I've been putting off. I fight nonstop. This is perfect just how I like it. Meaningless bloodshed from morning till dusk.

_...Open up my eager eyes..._

I feel the blood running down my hands. Hot red blood twining between my fingers. A hot passion. A memory of entwinement.

_...Cause I'm Mr. Brightside..._

I smile at the adversary. Nameless foes slaughtered in the dark. I don't even wonder who the are who they could be. I don't wonder if they even know what love is. It wouldn't surprise me if they didn't. I certainly don't. Not that it matters. My smile widens this might even be hard this time. I look at the army rushing me.

"Hn." Keep yourself free enough to fight. Escape the cage that binds you. I'm held by nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

_Authors note:_ reminder this is now in kurama's POV. I'm really proud of this even though I had no idea where this story is going. I really didn't expect here I can tell you that. More at the end_  
_

_Coming out of my cage..._

"Oh Kurama!" She squealed.

"I can't do this."

"What?" Said Bran and the girl both.

"No, I wont do another fan girl I just can't let me go home Bran."

Bran smiled, "Is something waiting for you?"

"No. Nothing."

"It's not nice to call your mother nothing."

"Leave her out of it." Anger slid into his voice.

"I'd love to but you keep bringing home to the workplace, Kurama"

"I.."

"I also doubt very much that your mother is why you are disobeying me now."

"I'm fine."Kurama began "Come with me."

"Forget it." she spoke clearly "And I want a refund, I don't like being called a fangirl." She spit toward Kurama.

"Of course madam" Bran spoke up all polite. "Whatever you wish."

_and I've been doing just fine..._

"I'm fine Hiei, fine. So stop asking."

"I only asked once Fox." His voice came gruffly

I looked at him "I had to answer you yesterday and the day before." I slumped.

"Kurama, What is wrong with you?"

"I'm fine..."

"I'm fine I tell you."

"That's nice, Kurama but your getting less popular and more complaints are coming in and the people who are satisfied are well..."

I look up confused, "What?"

"Well they're being pleased differently than you usual style." Bran continued. "You need to get happier and less exotic."

_Gotta gotta be down because I want it all..._

Hiei's soft lips were all I needed his hands roaming over me, Relax he says to me just letting me sleep beside him never asking for anything.

His body gets heated can feel it. He doesn't know. How can I tell him. I let him. I start to cry and he asks me why when I tell him he just accepts it. Oh forbidden child please think of yourself.

_It started out with a kiss..._

The first time he kissed me it felt heaven.

_How did it end up like this..._

Every time he touches me I feel like I'm betraying or being betrayed. My mother doesn't know, my friends don't know, my boss doesn't know. I'm gay. and the only person I can't stand to sleep with is the only person I love. But every night I'm with him.

_It was only a kiss..._

I remember the first time he kissed me. It couldn't have happened at a better time. Just when I was thinking my life couldn't possibly get any worse he came in. It was almost as though he could feel I needed the change. Needed him beside me. So I could be strong, but I'm reading too much into it.

It was only a kiss...

I knew she was a nice person but I was so disgusted. Her lips were coved with strawberry lipgloss but when I pushed my own against them I really could only think of plums. Putrid, rotting, squishy and strawberry glazed plums. Her body was drenched in fragrance as if every inch was covered in it's own unique smell. Her hair was dried out from all the hard work she put into making it right. Every bit of her felt so fake. A forty year old woman trying to live out a dream she had when she was twelve.

Most of all I realized just how fake this kiss was. How I was supposed to make her feel good when all I could think about was how much I couldn't stand her. How much I would rather have someone who felt real. How much I would love to have someone I liked, respected...someone I love.

Now I'm falling asleep..

I can't lift my head from the pillow. I can't move from this place. I have never been 'tested' before. My boss wouldn't have liked his goods damaged. My whole body aches now and I realize he made more off this then he has made for months of me. Those men really were more my style...brutal. I can feel myself smile despite myself. They are nothing like him...he's worse.

And she's calling a cab...

He left me when I told him to go.

And he's havin a smoke...

I realize that the cigarettes I had found in my pocket, probably from boss had been moved someone had smoked them. Hiei? I couldn't believe it. There was no one else who had been in my room but there was just no possible way. Smoking was a stupid human thing. It was self-destructive, there was no way in hell he would intentionally harm himself. That was a human thing. He could lose some of his awesome fighting skills... Why would he do something that couldn't even manage to enjoy.

And she's taking a drag...

Overcome with new curiosity he had to reach out to the box...had to light one. Then he stopped and just stared at it. He couldn't lift it to his lips couldn't let himself have the good feeling he knew it would bring couldn't do more than watch the smoke curl into the air.

And their going to bed...

I feel her hand twinging in mine and I wish I could escape this but somehow, I know this isn't bad this is fine. I can make her scream. I can make her happy. She is smiling at me. I smile back sensually and crawl toward her. I do just fine, I don't have any flashes of him. I don't wish he was there I just let her hands trace over me soft and gentle.

And my stomach is sick...

Much later I feel it like all my worries rise in the bile as I let it all go. As I cleanse myself of her and leave only me left. I try so hard and all I want is this release. This is the greatest freedom. The greatest amount of control no one else could make me stop. They could make me eat, they could make me fulfill others desires with no thought to my own, but no one can keep me from this. Here in this bathroom I can flush my worries.

"What are you doing Shuichi?"My mother's voice.

"Nothing" I manage to choke out between dry heaves.

I hear her footsteps as she walks down the hallway away from me.

And it's all in my head...

I feel a bit of pride when I realize I didn't need to push my finger down my throat. I can do it without even that now. I am in control of my own body.

But she's touching his chest...

I can't control it. I love how she sounds how soft she feels. I know she isn't what I love but I still want this, this release, this feeling of ecstacy. I love the desperate passion in her eyes all she wants is me. She is here so easy. I can tease her, make her squirm, and not worry about it. All I need is this for now. Why was this hard what makes this wrong.

Now he takes off her dress...

I let my hands slip all over her, She smiles in longing. I feel her body shudder and soon I am reacting in like.

"Keiko!" She screams as she arcs.

"Hiei!" I call after her. I fall forward and lay there totally limp in her arms.

I look up at her and wipe the tears from her face as tremors of sadness rush through her. She looks up at me and I don't even notice the tears falling from my own emerald eyes.

Now let me go...

My eyes met my boss's for only a second. His intense stare caused me to look down. My spirit hadn't been broken yet. I cursed him. I would make him sorry for holding my mother above my head.

He walked into my home eyes upward his very aura showing confidence, like he owned the place.

Cause I just can't look it's killing me...

My mother's lips pressed lightly over his.

"What's for dinner, Shori?" He asked sweetly wrapping his arms around her waist. I looked away. Unable to take it any more. I wanted to rush to the bathroom right now and purge myself of that man and my job and the lies.

And taking control...

I feel my grip tighten on the cold handle.

Jealousy...

That look Hiei had had in his eyes. Did he love me the way I loved him? Was this really love? My unwillingness to be with him alone, my love for my mother and the terrible hatred I felt for 'him'. 'He' had stolen everything from me I couldn't be who I wanted to be. I had no choice.

Turning saints into the sea...

A dark look crossed my features and I smiled. He was leaving. He thought he could come here and use my mom like a whore, then leave and go back to his business. Like hell he loved her. He makes her so happy. I waver for just a second the old indecision returning again. Am I being selfish? Before I had a chance to think another word he was out the door. I sat on the roof above him. My eyes shined darkly.

Swimming through sick lullabies...

"Go to sleep, my little one it's alright, no other monster will visit you tonight, this is how I'll show my love, dripping in your happiness, I never asked for something like this, but I'm so happy I've earned your kiss, Even though you tried so hard, I'll be there for you for now, Go to sleep, my little one it's alright, no other monster will visit you tonight, Daddy say's it will be alright." I quoted to him. My eyes narrowed, He looked up shocked to hear the words he had once sung to me, the first time I learned what my job was.

"Hi, Daddy." I said softly, the sarcasm pooling in my eyes.

Choking on your alibis...

He didn't know, until now, that I could be a threat. He didn't know who he was dealing with. He didn't even know I was a demon, and now he was below me pleading because he knows one truth that has never happened before. My mother wasn't here now...it was just us two.

But, it's just the price I pay...

I leap down toward him. My hands caressing the sheath. I look up at him with eyes he has never seen before. I'll only use this.

I walked up to him.

Destiny is calling me...

His blood trickled down the sheath. I held him in an embrace that would take his life. This careful man who had never let his guard down, who had though me to be a broken human now slumped as if satisfied. He felt like the bodies of women who's tears of sadness or joy I would wipe equally from their eyes. I did not wipe his tears I watched as his face relaxed I let his body slump. I lifted the black sheath from him. The sheath was currently sheathed inside him. Hmmm...

Open up my eager eyes...

I looked up at the sky and smiled letting myself laugh just a little, for the first time in months.

Cause I'm Mr. brightside...

Blood ran down my front. I stood up and walked back in the house to change clothes the next morning it was reported that he had disappeared mysteriously and the authorities searched for years.

Somewhere in the Makkai however some sweet thing is no longer hungry.

I never...

I left a rose on a grave. My mother's tears reminding me that I was selfish.

I never...

I quit my job.

I never...

Keiko was found making out with a girl at school, yusuke was shocked.

I never...

I stood in the Makkai after what has felt like forever. I pick my way over the corpses and look up to see my destination. I lifted the package I was carrying. I handed it out to the demon in front of me. He took a hold of the long sheath. My eyes sparkled at Hiei, when he smirked.

"Did you miss it?" Kurama asked confidently.

"Haven't felt tempted to sheath my sword, it's been tasting blood." Hiei smugly replied.

"So has your sheath." Kurama stated.

"All the more reason for the sheath to belong to the sword. Similar tastes."

"Did you miss it?" Kurama asked again.

Hiei just smiled and shifted his hand on the sheath still held between us. Each of us holding on to an end.

End

Hey reviewers-can you guess who Keiko gets with? I will be posting a sequal if you want to know more. Also just a note the 'father/boss' is really kurama's stepdad. In case you were curious. Preety heavy stuff I know but hey...If you liked it or even if you didn't please give me a review.,


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